Starting this blog again I just read my old post that I didn't delete from my last attempt at this blog from around a year ago.This made me think.
My boyfriend then and I have since parted. At the time this hit me hard. I really truly did love that boy with all my heart. We spoke for a bit after determined to stay friends, but as you would expect this drifted apart and we don't talk anymore. Seeing that and remembering this, it made me realise I have so much still to stay to him; so as I can't tell him I thought I'd type it here.
1. Thank you.
I really do mean it. The time that we were together was the happiest I'd been in my life to that point. You helped me battle my anxiety and mind, supporting me through everything I chose to do. It is what I needed then and I wish I still had it now as I realise how much I took it for granted now.
2. Hope you're happy.
You deserve the world, and I really hope that you are able to regain the happiest you felt when you were with me. We had a rough patch at the end of our relationship so I really hope that you've been able to rediscover your happiness.
3. You still mean a lot to me.
Even though we don't talk, I still think about you most days. I know I shouldn't, but there are so many times when I wish for you to be with me or see something that I know you'd love and want to photograph. I remember all of our special dates; good and bad.
Also seeing as time has gone on a few things about me have changed, and if you read this you'd probably be interested. Firstly, I started smoking. Not a lot, but I have the odd one or two which I know you wouldn't be a fan of. Secondly, I have started dying my eyebrows, so no more blond hair-massive forehead me. Lastly, when we ended I went on many drives, walks and runs and I found so many areas which I'd loved you to have seen with me. Maybe one day you will.
I know that we could never be together again, and probably not friends either. I just wish I knew what I had at the time, and maybe I wouldn't have let go so easily.
I miss you.